Without Her…But Having Him(s)

It has been 2 weeks…

So not used to not having her around. She used to keep me busy – making her milk, sterilizing her bottles, keep watch of her feeding time, administering her medication, bathing her, nappy changing, washing, drying and folding her tiny clothes and organizing her closet.

Missed kissing her, stroking her head admiring her short fine hair, breastfeeding time, massage time, having her chubby cheek resting on my shoulder, watching her sleeping peacefully, cradling her in my arm and singing to her.

Readjusting my life, living without her and to never let the memories of Samantha fade.

In times like this, God’s incredible grace is there to pick us up, to revive lost hope, to heal broken hearts, and to strengthen us.  God has given to me two wonderful man before He gave me Samantha, for a purpose. That is to keep me going and never let me fall today.

I, take u, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse………to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

When the doc told us that Samantha is very ill, Darling and I hold on to each other and said, “Let’s go through this together.” Darling had been very supportive throughout this period of uncertainty and pain. He understands my heart and my need. And now, we have each other to share the emptiness and grieve for our loss.

Samantha @ 2 months

God blessed us with Jonathan to keep us busy. He puts joy and laughter in our heart.  There was no chance for us to drop our tears in front of him.  He now knows that her little sister Samantha is with Jesus.  When asked, he will say, “Samantha is sick and die already. Samantha is in heaven now.” We still talk to him about her little sister Samantha hoping that she will always be in his mind.

Jonathan @ 31 months; Samantha @ 2 months (before her condition started to deteriorate)

Here, we would like to say thank you to all of you for your prayers and concern for our family. I felt so touched by all of your love for Samantha. May God bless you.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 5th, 2010 at 3:49 pm and is filed under Family News, Jonathan, Motivation, Samantha. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


  1. caroline says:

    You are a strong mommy Julie and I admire you for that. God has indeed given to you 2 most wonderful man and I am sure all of you will keep each other stronger! Take care ….

    ... on July December 5th, 2010
  2. Mery says:

    You have to be strong…..Life still need to go on.
    Cheer up !!! Look ahead for ur future life…!

    ... on July December 5th, 2010
  3. Ann says:

    Indeed Jonathan is such a blessing. And its marvelous the way they look at things so simply…yet so true.

    Be still and know that I am God.
    Peace and love to your family.

    ... on July December 6th, 2010
  4. Doreen says:

    Oh dear… Have not been blogs hopping for quite sometime. And I didn’t know about it till today! =(

    My deepest condolences to you and your family.

    Be strong ya.
    Take care!

    ... on July December 6th, 2010
  5. debbie says:

    I’m really sorry…. just got to know about Sam.

    You have been the best mommy in this universe especially to Sam. Stay strong and the 2 wonderful man still need you.

    ... on July December 6th, 2010
  6. Mamapumpkin says:

    I felt a tinge of your sadness but can only imagine how much deeper it can get. I must tell you what an amazingly strong, brave woman you are and I am so happy that you have placed your trust in God. Did your toughness come from being with so many girls?!

    ... on July December 7th, 2010
  7. Mamapumpkin says:

    I love the title of this post, by the way. It is perfect.

    ... on July December 7th, 2010
  8. HN says:

    I felt so much love between the lines … Thanks for keeping us update with your beautifully written post. Take care Julie.

    ... on July December 7th, 2010
  9. kristie says:

    It’s true that God has pathed the way for 2 strong men to be in your life, to be there for u no matter what. Our hearts and thoughts are always with you. We will never forget baby sam too, xoxo.

    ... on July December 8th, 2010
  10. prince n princess mum says:

    Take care ya…

    ... on July December 10th, 2010
  11. chanelwong says:

    you are very very strong…
    focus in Hom and He will give you the strength…
    Take care

    ... on July December 15th, 2010
  12. christine says:

    I admire you for your strength and the testimony for God. I pray that God will always keep you in His loving arms.

    ... on July December 16th, 2010
  13. yvy says:


    ... on July December 18th, 2010
  14. sunarti says:

    take care & be strong siew haw

    ... on July December 19th, 2010
  15. anggie says:

    Samantha will always in ur heart no matters what, and God will give u strength in many ways.
    And u do a very loving and strong mum ….take k and be strong ya (hugs)

    ... on July December 20th, 2010
  16. andrewjune says:

    l0ve all the black & white photos…so classic 🙂

    indeed jonathan is a blessing…
    both you & hubby hv been such great parents!

    ... on July December 25th, 2010
  17. Queenie says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that…be strong…take care

    ... on July February 12th, 2011

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